heartbreak playlist

I cannot listen to music at all right now. But my brain keeps throwing these songs up and insisting that I play them, if only in my head. In no particular order, except for #1...

1. Satellite of Love | Lou Reed
2. Train in Vain | The Clash
3. Farm in the Middle of Nowhere | Buffy St. Marie
4. Another Innocent Girl | Alkaline Trio
5. I Melt With You | Modern English
6. Not Too Soon | Throwing Muses
7. Now They'll Sleep | Belly
8. Perfect Day | Lou Reed

Good bye 2016!

Posting here rather than doing up a little Christmas newsletter. Oh, man.... 2016.... not sorry that it's coming to a close. And that's just in my life, not even considering all the stuff going on in the world!

Nothing terrible, just a lot of little stresses. I'll get the complaining out of the way first:

• I'm in Regina (this will show up on the happy list, as well). 4 hours from my mom and sis, 6 1/2 hours from Omar and everyone in Winnipeg. And because I'm here, I'm spending $14,000-ish a year that I wouldn't need to if Omar and I could just manage to live in the same house for once. 
• And speaking of money. Always money. Just taking me longer to get my finances in order than I had hoped. But getting there!
• Sweet Cleo (she'll also be on the happy list). The treatments aren't so bad but watching her become more frail makes me incredibly sad. 
• Health stuff. Again, nothing major but as Leonard Cohen says, "I ache in the places where I used to play."

On the other hand:

• Regina is good! 
• Have been getting out and doing lots of stuff. Took kayaking lessons in the summer, taking curling lessons now. Visited Moose Jaw and the Corner Gas set twice. Have been to the Legislative Building, Government House, the RCMP Heritage Centre, the museum, the botanical garden and the MacKenzie Art Gallery. Hiked at Buffalo Pound Provincial Park. Went to a Riders game. Am a regular at the Farmer's Market and public library. Go to Wascana Park all the time.
• Now that I'm in the middle, I've had lots of visitors. Waaay more than when I lived in Winnipeg. Lindsay and Valerie from school. Nicki from Calgary. Colin and the boys. Alison. Mom. Clark and Jasmine. Adam and Ayva. I love it!
• I also really like my job. Always interesting. Work with great people. And I like my apartment.
• Cleo. That little cat makes me so happy. We've gotten into a nice routine and she is enjoying being an only pet. She's an awesome traveler so whenever I head East, I strap her crate into the front seat and turn on the heaters and we're good to go. I know that our time together is limited but that just makes it more special. She's really gotten me through the last two crazy years.
• And yes, getting older and creakier but started running again in the spring and was part of our work marathon relay team. Was super fun. Have fallen off the wagon the last couple of weeks now that it is cold out but my gym membership at work kicks in tomorrow so will be back at it this week.

Here are the highlights in pictures:

Cleo under cover.

April - Corner Gas set with Lindsay.

June - In London with Mama for grad.

July - Chillin' with Lexi.

August - the fam damily.

August - my one and only Riders game!

August - girls camping weekend at Spruce Woods.

September - crossing the finish line.

That's about it! Wishing you all a very happy Christmas and the best for 2017!

officially official

Yesterday I "graduated in absentia" which means that I woke up this morning to my first official day as a librarian.

I wasn't really expecting to feel much of anything when this day happened. I actually didn't even know it happened until 10pm last night when I read an email from one of my classmates. The moment our last class was done, I started calling myself a librarian. I've been working as a librarian for two months. And yet...

I feel strangely emotional about graduating. This is the end of fifteen years of school. The goal I started towards in January 2000 has been reached. FINALLY!! It feels good. Really good. But mostly it feels like a huge relief. There were many moments when I thought I wouldn't make it and wondered what the hell I was doing this for. And look at me now!

Loading up on student loans and just getting 'er done probably would have been the easier way to do things but I don't regret my long and twisty path. I learned a lot and I met so many amazing people who would not have come into my life if I'd done things differently.

I'm celebrating today by going to the bank to set up a repayment schedule for my student line of credit. Woo. I wish I could get together with some of my classmates and celebrate properly but hopefully that will happen in June.

january song of the month

I was thinking that it was too bad that I had already used Changes since it pretty much sums up my last six weeks.... six months..... six years.... But David Bowies passing today has me remembering all of his songs that have been the soundtrack to specific points in my life.

My introduction to Bowie was in 1981 when I borrowed Scary Monsters on cassette from the public library and then listened to the crap out of it. Ashes to Ashes was the song that got the most play. I have no idea why it struck a chord with my 11-year old self but it remains one of my favourites.

december song of the month

rufus j. cat, rip

october song of the month

Spending the weekend binge watching Freaks and Geeks while nursing a horrible head cold. It's such a great show and I totally missed it the first time around. Making me realize just how happy I am that high school is faaaaaaar behind. And as always, looking forward to the day grad school is behind me as well!

Here's the theme....

july song of the month

This song is by The Figs, an all-female bluegrass band from Lafayette. The ukelele player, Jillian Johnson, was shot and killed by a man who hated women because she was a woman. Twenty six years after Marc Lepine shot fourteen women for the same reason, it is still utterly shocking each time it happens.

When I declined to go see Trainwreck with the MLIS gals last weekend, my only thought was that I had too much work to do. I did not consider that being killed was a possibility. I know that the chance of being shot by a stranger while out for an evening with my friends is infinitesimally small. I don't live in fear. But I also don't understand how someone can hate women, or any group of people, that much.

in the yard

Or as I've been calling it, the domain. Cleo spends 15 minutes or so a day taking a tour of her domain and making sure everything is in order. I water plants, drink coffee and take pictures. Here are a few...

The toad who lives under the stairs.

Cleo on the prowl.

Garden consists of 1 mint, 1 tomato and 2 beans.
All growing like crazy!

Eddie the rain barrel goldfish, stalking a bug.

half way!

Today is officially the half way point in my program. I had planned to buy a bottle of wine and have a little celebration at home but was so exhausted at the end of class that walking to the LCBO seemed like too much work. Besides, I have homework to do. Celebrating by going to bed early so I can get up early and write. Maybe will have a good cathartic cry while I'm at it. ;]

This is also the beginning of reading week. And I will be reading. Have a presentation on Thursday and I'm going to try to plow through a blog post, a forum post, an essay and a job application (fake job application for class). Also heading to Toronto on Tuesday for a tour of the Toronto Reference Library in the morning and either a haircut or a tour of the AGO library in the afternoon. No one at the hair salon is getting back to me so I may just say screw them and try someone in London. Even though I really like the stylist, I hate being ignored!

So that's the update. The last couple of weeks have been insanely stressful. Still can't wait to be done!

june song of the month

O has introduced rock n' roll Mondays to the kindergarten room at the daycare, which has prompted several discussions about which songs he should play. Since I  keep bugging him about the lack of women on his list, I thought this month's song better be by a kick ass chick. Had to make it something that was appropriate for five year olds, which was harder than I thought it would be!

Here's a two-for-one-special. And any suggestions for other songs can go in the comments!

And just for good measure, a link to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Women Who Rock exhibit.

instant summer

Two weeks ago, when Alison was visiting, it snowed. Today it is +30 with a humidex warning. Crazy. But apparently this "isn't normal." That's what everyone said about the winter as well. At least a May heat wave can't be blamed on me. More than one person told me I'd brought Manitoba winter with me. As if I'd do that!

Cleo and I have been enjoying lots of time in the back yard. Things will be stupidly busy as of Monday so trying to relax a little on my last couple of days off. Her routine is: eat grass, throw up, lounge and occasionally show too much interest in a bumble bee. My routine is: find a shady spot and read books for pleasure, while keeping one eye on Cleo.

chowin' down!

may song of the month

This month's song is dedicated to Don Phillips, who passed away on April 14 and is buried today. I had the great pleasure of working for Don for a couple of years in the early 90s. One of the awesome things about working at Candlewood was Don's extensive and varied music collection. I heard all kinds of things there that I might never have otherwise. I had a hard time choosing just one song but this particular ture sticks out in my mind because when I mentioned to Don that I liked it, he replied (in his deep, gravelly voice) something like, "Me too, but I feel silly singing along." I thought that was hilarious. Don was a kind and generous man who will be greatly missed by many, including me.

april song of the month

Five more days until the end of the first semester. Am I ready to be done? Hell, ya. Am I ready to be done the whole program? Yes! Yes! Yes! Am I ready to get out of London? You bet.

happy 11th birthday to my fabulous niece!

Who made me this mug for Christmas! I enjoy tea every afternoon with Lexi.

my view

The view from the back of the house is very industrial, but that doesn't mean it's not pretty sometimes. Like last night...

smoke stack, crescent moon and north star

march song of the month

March is my least favourite month. In Manitoba, it's just gross, grey and slushy... In London, it is even worse since I've already had two months of grey and slushy. Definitely in the doldrums. Also struggling with this weird feeling of disorientation and unreality, like, what am I doing here? Why am I on this bus? Who the hell are all these strangers? I've been kind of walking through the last week in a bit of a daze. Hoping that spring will fix this, but in the meantime...

my apartment

My brother requested some pictures and since everything is pretty clean and tidy at the moment, here they are! I really love this space but would obviously decorate differently if I was staying here. For one year, it's perfect. I'm just thinking of it like living at the cabin.

Bedroom with lovely east light. Helps me get up in the morning!

View from the kitchen to the bedroom.

View from the bedroom to the kitchen.

Cute galley kitchen with built-in head bonk.

The bathroom.

My awkward entrance.

february song of the month

Was going to post a different Herman Dune song but then I heard this one and it's so sweet and cute and fits my mood these days. Plus I can't resist tight pant wearing, sleepy eyed, hairy guys. :]

Okay... after that nice little interlude, back to my essay...

day 31

Some random thoughts at the end of my first month...

London

• So far, not a big fan of this city. I'm willing to revise my opinion once spring arrives but omg.... the grey.... having a hard time living with so little sunshine.
• The bus system here sucks worse than Winnipeg. Which is unfortunate, because I have a 40 minutes ride to campus. Would be a 12 minute drive if I had a car. It often takes me more than an hour to get home because my evening connections are so poor. Looking forward to biking season in a big way. 20 minutes and on my own schedule.
• There are a LOT of head shops in this town.
• People here say "ash-osh-i-AY-shon". What's wrong with good ol' ass?
• Gas prices are actually competitive. As seen from the bus yesterday, 77.3, 83.9 and 87.4. This would never happen in Winnipeg.

My apartment

• Despite my ambiguous feelings on London, I do love my apartment.
• It's much easier to be tidy in a small space with no stuff.

School

• School is intense! Not hard but we are overwhelmed with projects, papers and group work. Have 34 things due in 14 weeks. Will really need that break in April.
• Groupwork. Ugh.

Life in general

• Even though I'm stupidly busy, I'm still finding time to feel homesick. Thank goodness for technology. Don't know what I'd do if it wasn't so easy to stay in touch.
• I looooooove my mother! And my sister! For taking such good care of Rufus and Lexi. And I love Marilee for sending me cookies!
• I also love being able to see O more often. 3 weekends in a row? Just feels decadent.
• On the job front, I'm officially unemployed. My part of the marketing project at Children's Hospital has wrapped up. Will be substitute teaching a distance ed course through Red River College starting in April but in the meantime I'm a student. Period. Feels good but scary!
• Cleo is doing so well. I wouldn't say I've mastered giving her subcutaneous fluids but I'm having more success. She's eating, drinking, going to the bathroom, playing... She doesn't even seem her age, let alone sick. She has pretty much adjusted to living here and being an only cat. I know that she's nearly 17 and anything could happen at this point, but it's such a relief not to have to worry about her for the moment.