sigh...

Just checked my email. Logged out and got bounced to the Sympatico/MSN site. Here are Tuesday's Features:

Global warming will harm economy (parts of the Stern report are available here)
10 gadgets your wife will love (basically, high-end techno gadgets you, the husband, can get away with buying)

And spending all that money on gadgets will be good for the economy, which will help prevent the economic devastation that could be caused by global warming, right? Right? I'm sure that's what the report said...

top of my chart

Latest musical obsession is Andre Ethier's first CD. All I can say is that it is a good thing my dear roommie isn't home much, because she'd be getting mighty sick of hearing the same songs over and over. While making dinner and cleaning the kitchen last night, I literally kept hitting play everytime the disk ended. Hooked, I tell ya.

The songs are a lot like Bob Dylan (with a hint of Nick Cave a la Murder Ballads), if Bob lived during the Depression and performed drunk on wooden stages in small town bars. Quite old timey and raw. Actually reminds me a bit of Leadbelly. Fave tunes at the moment are Little Saddy and Sinners.

Supposedly he has a MySpace site, but haven't been able to get it to upload, so you can try checking it out. Also, he's a painter (not really my thing) and singer in the now defunct Deadly Snakes. And he has a new CD out too, but I'm currently digging the first one so much that I haven't bothered to find out what the second one is like.

Run out and buy this now. Or stay home and download it now. Except for T - a certain husband of hers might just be getting a copy for Hanukkah. :]

two fabulous chances to prove your eco worth!

First one is from my own little city (sorry, locals participants only). Called Eco Idol, which is fine, but the judges are the Idols. I don't have tv, and I've never seen any of the Idol shows, but I was under the impression that its the contestants that are vying for the title of Idol. Am I wrong?

In any case, it is a fun little contest where you submit a picture of the green thing you do and just maybe win one of the prizes. A weekend for two at a local hotel (no gas spent to get away somewhere exotic... very eco) or green cleaning supplies. I'm going for the runner up prizes. Lord knows my house needs cleaning.

So far the entries have been a little dull. Trying to think of ways to jazz it up a bit. Suggestions welcome!

Second is something everyone can participate in... the Slate Green Challenge. Sign up, take the quiz, find out ways to lower your carbon emissions, and make the pledge to do so. The whole thing does have some problems. Like assuming that everyone owns a car and dishwasher, or that said car is powered by fossil fuel. And for us Canucks, everything has to be converted to Imperial from metric.

But overall a good (and fun) exercise in assessing one's environmental impact.

good news and bad news

The good (?) news:
Canada's Conservative government announced their proposed Clean Air Act last week, which, along with a bunch of other stuff, aims to reduce greenhouse gases by 45 to 65% from 2003 levels by 2050.

The bad news:
The World Wildlife Fund just released a report predicting that we will have exhausted the Earth's resources by 2050.

beautiful

Elliot posted last week about beauty and linked to the Dove "evolution" commercial. Even though I don't use Dove products and I know in my cynical little heart that commercials like these are just another advertising ploy, I felt quite moved watching it.

Beauty is something it took me years to get a handle on. I was an oblivioius child, concentrating entirely on doing stuff, rather than on what other people looked like. Or at least that's how I remember it. When I entered junior high and was confronted with my apparently unappealing looks, I was sideswiped. I had no idea how ugly I was until people started telling me. What a blow.

I was not even close to coming to terms with my appearance when, at age 23, I was diagnosed with Grave's disease. I was also unlucky enough to be one of the 10% of people who get the associated eye problems, though not to the severe extent that afflicts some.

After two years of explaining to strangers why my eyes looked "weird", something changed. I turned 25 and slowly, without trying, I stopped caring what other people thought of my appearance. (Not that I don't still find it annoying when I get asked.)

I can't explain it fully, but several factors helped. First, I stopped buying magazines. Second, I didn't have a television and have actually spent most of my adult life without one. Point being that I'm not constantly comparing myself to some idea of beauty that I can never achieve.

Third, I came to really appreciate the meaningful relationships I had with my bestest friends and sought their guidance. I still want to look good, of course. But for me.

Fourth, I grew up. Funny about that.

Fifth, I went back to school. I was a mediocre student all my life, but mainly because I didn't try. Now that I cared about what I was learning and started getting excellent marks, I felt better about myself. I got this big ol' brain... surely that's more important than being pretty?

Sixth, I had to deal with my mom having breast cancer. Watching her go through the slash and burn that we currently call treatment made me reconsider the order of importance of things in my life. Looks were way down the list.

And finally, I got rid of a huge monkey off my back (y'all know who I'm talking about). He was seriously dragging me down and purposely trying to wreck my confidence. It sort of worked. But not long after he was out of my life, I realized what an idjit he was. And what an idjit I had been to stay with him. Have a goofy amount of confidence now. Possibly unwarranted. :]

And while I may feel good about myself, and I don't stress about what strangers think of me, there has been some fallout from being nicknamed Uglor, and having my appearance be the thing I was so severely judged on. I don't like having my picture taken (I never turn out to be as lovely as my internal picture) or being singled out for anything. I still maintain high walls, so it's hard to get to know new people, and I often don't want to share my feelings.

On the plus side, I'm independent, self-sufficient, have a strong sense of self. I think I'm a bit protected from consumer culture because I'm so aware of its harmful effects.

In any case, I can't change the past.

I know I'm not pretty or cute. 150 years ago, I would have been called a handsome woman. I think those who love me would say I'm beautiful, and the rest are not opinions that I count. And even though I reached this place without the help of a Dove commercial, and I know exactly what they're up to, I'm still glad that they started their Real Beauty campain.

headaches

I have a major headache today. A combination of too much screen time (all day at work, all evening doing school stuff, basically for the past two weeks) and the constant drilling and banging happening on the other side of my wall. Have no idea what they are doing, but hope it stops soon. Was cataloguing a book on noise in the workplace yesterday, and there was a picture of someone with their hands over their ears. Caption read, "Noise can cause stress and anxiety." Showed my boss. She laughed. She shares the same wall.

Also finding the Brandon election to be a bit of a headache. And an embarassement. We made national news because it is such a joke. One mayoral candidate has been convicted of fraud, two currently have charges pending (assault for one; assult & break and entry for the other). Of the three remaining, one made a complete ass of herself during the debate last night. Oh ya, and the one with the b&e charge said she'd pray to God for guidance if elected. Normally, I wouldn't concern myself with these antics, but I'm really afraid that the guy convicted of fraud could win. And man, I don't want that to happen. Can't stand the guy. You know that character on the Simpsons who always cries, "But what about the children?" Well, that's basically his approach to everything. I don't think I could stand four years of his hysterics.

Final headache is my Green Brandon blog, which I have decided to shut down. Not just move this time. eBrandon sucks. The guy running it has to preview everything before it goes up, so there is always a big lag time. Half the time you have to email him to remind him. He seldom replies, and the last problem I've been having hasn't been fixed. So in order to keep you all as my friends, please look to the left and note the blue greenie link under the blogs heading. That's where I'm going to be writing enviro stuff. This blog will stay personal. Will make a note on Green Brandon that I've moved.

couch for sale

further to my previous post

Was reading today on the Health Canada website that as of November 16, 2006, all cosmetic and personal care products sold in Canada must contain the list of ingredients on the label.

This is good news for several reasons. First, people like my co-worker who reacts to aloe vera, will have an easier time avoiding ingredients that cause them problems. Second, cosmetic companies may have to start defending what is in their products and maybe, hopefully ensuring that their products are not harmful. And third, for slightly paranoid folks like myself, I can look for key ingredients (such a parabens, PEG, propylene glycol, etc. etc.) that have been linked to cancer or other health problems... AND THEN AVOID THEM.

Hurray!

put on a little make-up, make-up

So here's the thing...

Doing my thesis on the corporatization of breast cancer (that's the short description of the project and trust me, you are going to get sick of hearing me talk about it) and therefore have been reading a ton of articles. One of the main points that keeps coming up is how the focus of corporate campaigns is on finding a cure, rather than on prevention. And the suggested conclusions are that (a) corporations don't want to prevent breast cancer (or cancer, period) because too much money can be made from treating it, and (b) companies use lots of chemicals that have been linked to cancer and don't want to be held accountable.

Case in point is the cosmetics industry. They are chock full of potentially cancer-causing agents such as parabens, phthalates, and thousands of other unregulated chemicals. That's right... unregulated. The cosmetic industry does have standards, but they do not need to list what ingredients are in their products, and the vast majority of chemicals used have not been tested. The cosmetic industry defends itself by saying that these chemicals are used in such small quantities that they are not harmful. However, no studies have been done on long-term use or cumulative effects.

So...

Because I'm growing out of being a freaky girl and into being a crazy old lady (currently in the transition stage), I've stopped wearing make-up. It's not a hard and fast rule, but I no longer apply powder, blush and lipstick every morning. I think I'll still be inclined to use lipstick on occassion, and to use the rest of it when I'm dressing up. I have good skin, so I'm lucky. And it has been even better since I stopped using these products about a month ago. I know I never wore much anyway. Maybe you're shocked to learn that I wore any at all. Those of you who see me in person can judge for yourselves, and be honest, could you tell that I wasn't wearing make-up the last time you saw me? Didja even notice??

And now, some websites for further education, if you are so inclined:

CBC Marketplace - Cosmetics and the Cancer Connection
Breast Cancer Action - Cosmetics Companies and Breast Cancer
Environmental Working Group - Skin Deep (just click "No Thanks" to get into the site)
Environmental Health Association of NS -Guide to Less Toxic Producs (permanently linked on the left)

One last thing...
Do hair metal bands, drag queens and Elizabeth Taylor know about this?

bliss

Had a fantastic weekend at the lake with O. Caught a glimpse of the life that I would like to have. But probably won't ever quite have. No clocks, no news, no schedule, no stress. Plenty of food (Thanksgiving dinner courtesy of my amazing mama). Good company. Hockey Night in Canada. Coyote, deer, bison, owl. Coffee. Campfire. Discussions ranging from the trivial (do mice hibernate?) to the profound (where do we go from here?).

Finished reading The Lover (again). Did not do any school work.

Dreamed.

bits and pieces

O and I are heading to Johnson Cabins at Clear Lake for the long weekend. Very much looking forward to getting away, even though I have to do work while I'm there. At least "Geophysics" will be accompanied by glass of wine and a roaring fire.

My new bed (the Organic Eco-Rest) arrived today and hallelujah is all I have to say. It has been a year since I decided I was going to buy one, and more than three months since it was ordered. I'm sure it was worth the wait. Won't get to try it out until Monday, so I've blocked off the cat door to my bedroom and shut the door. Don't want it covered in fur before I even get to lay down on it!

And finally, I learned something new today. Lady bugs, those oh so cute and beneficial insects, overwinter in dry sheltered places, all huddled together. Apparently, though who knows how they know, they snuggle down deeper when the winter is going to a cold one. They do a kind of group hug thing, and the ones in the middle move to the outside once they warm up, so everyone stays nice and cozy. So now you know too.

Happy Thanksgiving!

summer reading list - update

Way back in April, I posted my summer reading list. How'd I do? Read some of 'em. And a bunch of others. Here's what I accomplished along with very short reviews.

Read (from the list):
Charming Billy by Alice McDermott
Read it if you have the time. Won the somethingerother prize. Enjoyed it, but didn't love it.
Last Crossing by Guy Vanderhague
Read it, read it, read it! Got off to a slowish start, but by the fifth chapter, I couldn't put it down.
Oh, Play That Thing by Roddy Doyle
Don't bother. Very disappointing. Crackling prose, as usual, but a plot that would put General Hospital to shame. I mean, how many things can happen to one person?!? Sheesh.

Read (not from the list):
Grub: Ideas for an Urban Organic Kitchen by Anna Lappe and Terry Bryant
Read it, read it, read it! Straightforward and sage (haha) advice about that most important subject – food. Plus lots of yummy recipes. Also check out their website.
Reviving Ophelia by Mary Bray Pipher
Read it if you have daughters or were ever a girl. Some scary stuff about growing up female in these media saturated times, but for me, it was better than going to a therapist. And cheaper. Worked out a lot of issues left over from my terrible teens while pondering the author's words of wisdom.
Madame Zee by Pearl Luke
Read it if you have nothing better to do. Interesting story based on the real-life mistress of a Canadian cult leader, but not super writing and the ending was a bit unsatisfying.
Out: A Novel by Natsuo Kirino
Don't bother. Loved this book, got totally sucked in to the grim and gritty tale of four Japanese women who work the night shift in a box lunch factory. One murders her husband, and the other three help her dispose of the body. Then things get crazy. A novel about alienation and the low status of women in Japanese society. But the last chapter was so terrible that I was literally shrieking. How can ten pages totally ruin an entire novel? Read it only if you want to find out.
The Red Tent by Anita Diamant
Read it if you have the time. Not generally big of faux biographies (though this is the second one I read this summer), but so little is known of Dinah, the biblical daughter of Jacob (ya, the guy who wore the amazing, technicolour.... ), that I found myself really enjoying “her” story.

comfort food

Feeling a little down lately. Not sure why. The days getting shorter? Lack of sleep? School? Whatever the reason, I feel like going home, getting in my jammies, making something yummy and curling up with a cat and a book. Unfortunately, the book is "Geophysics".

On the bright side, this is the something yummy that I'm planning to make:

Mushroom Risotto
1 ounce dried porcini mushrooms
2 cups boiling water
1 1/2 pounds fresh cremini or white mushrooms
6 tablespoons unsalted butter
5 to 6 cups mushroom broth
1 cup finely chopped onion
1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh rosemary leaves
1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh sage leaves
3 cups Arborio rice
2 cups dry red wine
3 tablespoons finely chopped fresh parsley leaves
1 cup freshly grated Parmesan

In a small bowl soak porcini in boiling water 30 minutes. Pour soaking liquid through a fine sieve lined with a dampened paper towel or coffee filter into a bowl and reserve. Wash porcini under cold water to remove any grit and pat dry. Chop porcini fine.

Chop fine 1/4 pound cremini or white mushrooms (about 1 1/2 cups) and reserve. Depending on size, halve and/or quarter remaining 1 1/4 pounds cremini or white mushrooms and in a large heavy skillet cook in 4 tablespoons butter with salt and pepper to taste over moderate heat, stirring, until tender, 5 to 10 minutes. Remove skillet from heat and reserve mushrooms in skillet. (They will be reheated just before serving.)

In a large saucepan heat broth and keep at a bare simmer.

In a 5- to 6-quart heavy saucepan add reserved finely chopped cremini or white mushrooms, remaining 2 tablespoons butter, onion, rosemary, sage, and salt and pepper to taste and cook, stirring, until onion is softened. Stir in rice and cook, stirring, until coated well with fat, about 1 minute. Add 1 cup wine and cook, stirring constantly, until absorbed. Add remaining cup wine and cook, stirring constantly, until absorbed.

Add 1 cup simmering broth and cook, stirring constantly, until absorbed. Continue cooking and adding broth, 1/2 cup at a time, stirring constantly and letting each addition be absorbed before adding next, until rice is tender and creamy-looking but still al dente, 20 to 25 minutes.
Note: About halfway through cooking, add reserved porcini soaking liquid and chopped porcini, stirring constantly until liquid is absorbed, and continue cooking and adding broth in same manner.

During last few minutes of cooking, reheat reserved cremini or white mushrooms in skillet over moderate heat, stirring, until hot, and stir in parsley and salt and pepper to taste. Stir grated Parmesan and salt and pepper to taste into risotto.

Serve risotto immediately, topped with cremini or white mushrooms and garnished with Parmesan curls and rosemary. Serves 6.

good cup, bad cup

Ahhhh. Love a clever pun.

The subject, however, is kind of serious. Especially for those of us (ie. moi) who take our coffee seriously. Was reading this report, put out by the Centre for Science in the Public Interest, on the amount of fat and calories in specialty coffee. Quite horrifying.

Fortunately for me, I don't have to change my habits. I always order a large latte with skim milk, no sugar. And no whip cream, sprinkles, etc.

Can probably thank Bruce for that. It's weird how often I can think of things to thank him for. Maybe because adversity has made me a much stronger person. And a kinder, more forgiving person too, I think.

But back to the coffee. Years ago, in the impressionable days of my youth, artschoolcool Bruce made me many, many cups of coffee. Cafe au lait done the real French way. Probably taught to him by his real French mother. Coffee press, scalded milk. Then he got a espresso machine and we moved on to lattes. Many, many lattes. Good, real European-style lattes, not the dessert coffee that so many places sell.

I never developed a taste for sweet coffee (though near the end of our relationship, Bruce insisted on putting large spoons of sugar in my cup... won't go into the psychology of that just now) but I did develop a taste for fresh, slightly bitter, piping hot java.

More recently, I also developed a taste for fair trade, organic coffee. Things at age 19 that never occurred to me I should consider. Now that's all I drink at home. Having coffee out is a bit trickier. Starbucks is North America's largest purchaser of fair trade coffee (according to them) but if you buy a coffee at Starbucks, it probably isn't fair trade unless you ask for it. Here in Brandon, even asking for it isn't necessarily enough. They sell the beans, but don't expect them to brew up a pot just because you want some. The Organic Consumers Association is urging action to challenge Starbucks to live up to their propaganda. I just don't bother going to Starbucks, period.

Milk? Well that's another post entirely. But there is some scary info on the OCA site if you're interested.

grrrr, and, uh... yay!

My sweet little former foster dog, Hansel, is coming back. The stoopid family that adopted him has now returned him. Crazy people. I don't think they actually realized what having a dog was all about. They said they didn't want to keep him because they felt bad because they had to keep him in his crate all the time. Why did they have to do that, you ask? Well, because he had an accident, so they had to keep him in there during the day. That's right... AN accident. And then they had to keep him in the crate at night because their daughter wanted to sleep with him and they were afraid he would bite her if she moved around in her sleep. *sigh* Sometimes people just drive me batty.

But the good news is that Hansel is coming back. Gentle, adorable, easy-going Hansel will be my temporary dog again. Very excited to be picking him up on Monday and I don't mind at all if no one wants to adopt him for a while.

i heart rufus

Rufus after he positively destroyed the cheap plastic blind

(that came with my house).

Outside

In

Who can feel angry in light of such bliss?

Last week, I had the same conversation twice in one day. The first was with my friend Jacq* about a mutual friend of ours, Cindy. Cindy, now that her life is complete (ie husband and child), no longer needs us, and we have been dumped.

The second conversation was with Tia about her friend Callie. Callie is easily distracted by a new man or whatever else is going on in her life, and Tia decided that she'd had enough of being filler, so she dumped Callie. It was a bit trickier situation, as they do occasionally work together, but Tia handled it with her usual grace. What really struck me was when Tia said that she felt sadder about Pluto losing its status as a planet than about losing her friendship with Callie.

I've been reclassifying friends for about a year now (let's just say... if you're reading this, you're not one of them). I haven't dumped anyone, but I've had to start thinking about them differently because the relationship we once had has changed into something that no longer is very meaningful. Until this conversation with Tia, I've been thinking of it as a continuum -- that is, a line with true friends on one extreme and true enemies on the other, and most people falling somewhere in between, depending on how close they are to one or the other. I've been mentally moving a few people further away from the true friend point.

But I like the planet analogy better.

Has Pluto changed, really? No. Its still out there doing its thing. What has changed is how we think about it, the amount of attention we give it. Do we hate Pluto or wish it harm? Of course not. It has simply been downgraded from true planet to dwarf planet. Much like a few people in my life have been down graded from friend to someone I used to be friends with, to acquaintance.

I felt a little weird when I started talking to Tia about this months ago. But she, being a true friend, knew exactly what I meant. We have ways in our culture to mourn death and dump lovers. There are social rules (and rules of law) for how we are to behave when we get dumped. But we lack a way to move on from friendships. Things are awkward, get messy. Unless the friend does something truly heinous, we try to spare feelings, to back away slowly, to leave them with their dignity intact. And we feel guilty for doing so. This is our friend, after all. The best we can hope for is to mutually drift apart.

But I want to move on. Not to be cold, but these dwarf planets are taking up too much time and effort. Time I will never get back, spent on something that does not nourish me. Effort that I'd rather spend on the people I love, who show that they also love me and want me to be part of their little galaxy. Who think of me as Mars, perhaps. Certainly not as Uranus.

*To protect the privacy of the real people I was talking to and about, names have been changed to the names of other people's pets.

the other one

Cleo's roommate, Rufus. Crazy cat. He likes to hide at the bottom of the stairs and jump out at you. Can ya tell?

can you believe...

...that it took me this long to post pictures of my cat?!? Picture quality isn't exactly crisp. Turns out my digital camera doesn't do extreme close-ups very well. But not complaining!

Sweet Cleo

sweet 36

I've been meaning to post about my birthday for, oh, about a month now, but I've been waiting until I had pictures available. It was really damned good this year, thanks to all the amazing people in my life who are so thoughtful and make me feel so loved.

The whole thing started in May, when I was bumming around with my sister. I pointed out a pair of amber earrings that I liked and she promptly bought them for me. Practical person that she is, she noted that she wouldn't remember which ones they were by July, and I might as well enjoy them now.

Then in June when I received a package from my favourite bugs. Technically my Christmas present, but random gifts are more exciting anyway. It contained a fabulous drawing by the big bug of an orange cat named Cosmo, who happens to look a lot like Rufus. And this apron. There are people who wear aprons and those who don't. I happen to be an apron person. And a slipper person, but that's another story. Anyway, love this gift. Using it constantly and always wishing that my dear friend was hangin' in the kitchen with me.

A little closer to the actual date, another package arrived. This one from Karen, filled with six jars of jam and jelly that she made herself. Peach (long gone), jalapeno (gone), strawberry orange (going), blueberry, raspberry and rosemary mint. She also sent a book that I've been wanting to read, but that wasn't available at the public library. Tearing through it. Will post a review when I'm done, but I can tell you now, I think you should read it.
The Thursday before the big day, I invited my friend Kana over with her husband and told her to invite anyone else she would like. Her husband was only in town for a week, so the easiest way for everyone to see him was to have a gathering. Little did I know that it would turn into a party complete with cake, ice cream and gifts for moi. Bliss. The gifts were super thoughtful, too. An invitation to dinner. Liquid kelp for my trees. A recycled rubber tire door mat. Kitchen goodies like French grey sea salt and pomegranate tea. And a good time was had by all, of course.
The weekend of was spent at Asessippi Provincial Park, on the third annual girls camping weekend. This time in a yurt. My birthday consisted of seven hours on the beach, gourmet camp food, and lots of drinks and good conversation around the campfire until 3am. Oh ya, and s'mores.

That meant missing a weekend with O. but we made up for it on August long. I always like to guess what he'll get me, and so far I've never been right. This year's tries were a dutch hoe and wind chimes. Actually got my favourite movie on DVD and a CD that I've been longing for by a band that no longer is. Includes the song I love to sing while riding my bike. Thanks, darlin'! Smoochies!

Just when I thought it was over...

Received a lovely pottery bowl from O.'s mom and yesterday I got something in the mail from Whitehorse. How's that for making it last. Let's see... May, June... five months. I used to just call it the 12 Days of Catherine. Must rethink that.

And no birthday would be complete without resolutions. This year, I have three:
1) Drink more water. (So far, not going well.)
2) Quit eating so much junk food!!! (I got into some very bad habits during school last year, but having some success with this one, except for the cake, pie and apple crisp I've eaten this week.)
3) Stop wasting so much time at work. (Um.... ya.)